Since your capture by the Ghoul hunter a few months ago, GHOUL seems to be getting ready to record yet another "splatter-thrashing gore metal" masterpiece to be unleased early next 2003. Before you comment on that, tell us, how did you get away from the Ghoul hunter? I mean, since he's the Ghoul hunter, shouldn't he actually be good at what he does by actually hunting you all down? Seems kind of pointless, don't you think?

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Digestor: For the details of my detainment in that wretched castle of the Ghoul Hunter's, you will have to wait for the next album. Suffice it to say, I was captured by his clinking, clanking collection of junk known as KillBot and was a prisoner for several days. The Ghoul Hunter will get his, though...mark my words!! In his defense, we are rather wily characters and we have miles and miles of tunnels and caves to hide in. Plus I don't think he's very bright. I saw him trying to look smart by reading alot when I was in his dungeon but he was always holding the book upside down.

Everybody wants to know about the next GHOUL CD (well, maybe just I do, but that's besides the point). So tell us, any new song titles? Any new mosh riffs? What's the new title going to be? I heard it has something to do with axes and maniacs or something like that?

Digestor: We have plenty of titles for the next album but if we give them away here everyone will want to steal them, they're just that good. The title of the album is "MANIAXE" which is also a song about us killing things. This next cd should bury everything that came before and everything that comes after. The utter thrash assault will most likely be too much for most listeners to comprehend and they will end up in a semi-coma state, mumbling something about Carcass influences and the Bay Area.

Isn't GHOUL also planning on doing some 7" ep releases? I know the split CD with MACHETAZO got axed(no pun intended), but I heard their might be a split 7" ep with them now to be released by a new label called Last House on The Right Records. Any other suspicious chunks planned to come out? Cremator, put down that bone dammit! You're gonna hurt yourself.

Digestor: Don't speak to Cremator that way, you twisted freak. We'd love to do splits with Engorged, Impaled, Exhumed, F.K.U, Machetazo, Gruesome Stuff Relish, and any other good bands out there. Right now wer'e concentrating on two things though. 1:Killing you. And 2: Finishing Maniaxe.

I'm really hungry right now, I'll be right back.

Digestor: What you're just gonna lea...ok...This call is expensive...Cremator, for the love of God, PUT DOWN THE BONE!! Jesus Christ in a chicken basket, if it's not one thing it's an...NO, THE BONE!! Not the PHONE! God, you're an imbecile...Shut up, I think the jerk is done eating.

Last night I listened to your song "Rot Gut" and moshed like crazy. Does it amuse you guys to know that people around the world right now are listening to your music and having a great time? I think it's pretty hilarious, since we know the real truth about you guys. I know this must anger you very much, something that brings me much joy! I think I'm gonna go headbang to "Tomb After Tomb" right now.

Digestor: We're happy to hear that legions of fans across the globe are getting the message of Ghoul implanted directly into their brains. It's my dream to get up one day and find out that one of our dedicated Ghoulunatics has decided to behead you and mail your skull to us. You can enjoy our music all you want, Nocera. It won't get you out of being eviscerated with a sharpened skateboard.

Is GHOUL ever going to tour America? How about a show in "Death Valley" or something like that? I think that would be perfect, well, either that or Las Vegas. I don't know, is Fermentor a betting man, or not? Anyway, how about it? GHOUL tour of America, it has to happen one day! We'd someday like to book this for you guys, but I really don't want to meet any of you, so I might not even attend.

Digestor: Fermentor is betting you won't survive into next week, as are we all, and the odds aren't in your favor. We would love to come to the U.S to see all the famous sites. Scott Ian's boyhood home, Testament's practice space, the apartment where Dave Mustaine met David Ellefson; you know, the national treasures like that.

Word has it that GHOUL once played live in the Carpathian mountains and ended up killing all the local villagers, something that made Count Dracula(a resident of those parts) very happy. Did you ever get to meet him? Do you always have to kill everybody you meet? I mean, come on.

Digestor: You heard it wrong. The Count was royally (get it? royally? he's a Count...forget it.) pissed that we killed all his villagers because he had no one to feed on. We told him to blow it out his ass and then Fermentor chopped his head off with a scythe. Turns out vampires live up to their foppish appearance. He was a real pantywaist.

There's still so many things about GHOUL that nobody knows about, such as, how old are all of you? I heard some of your ancestors go back to the time of the dinosaurs, which explains why they all got wiped out. I knew I never believed that meteor shower theory...

Digestor: I don't have a birth certificate handy or I'd tell you. I know I spent over ten years in the carnival, and that was a long time ago. The others seem to be around my age but with all the scarring and warts, it's sort of hard to tell. Plus, Fermentor is shy about it.

Hey Digestor, I heard you've been dating someone lately, I think her name is the Swamp Hag? Is this true? Who is she? Why would she like you? How come she hasn't been dismembered yet? You guys wimping out or something? It's really not like you at all, but I guess you also need to get laid, right? Any chance of her doing some backing vocals on the next CD?

Digestor: I didn't agree to talk about my personal life, but ok. Me and Swampy have been seeing quite a bit of each other recently. First we would just meet and exchange recipes, but soon we were staring into each others eye and sputtering vows to kill so and so, or maim this person or that. It turned pretty serious. I have a feeling she'll be making an appearance on the next album, even though the rest of Ghoul thinks she gets in the way and spends too much time in the catacombs with us.

Isn't funny how I'm the biggest GHOUL fan, but yet, you totally want me dead and decapitated? That must really kill you. It's been a real treat exploit....um, I mean, promoting your band all over the underground this past year. I've read some awesome reviews of the CD, are you guys happy with the response?

Digestor: Yeah, that's a real barrel of monkeys, you scumbag. We don't pay attention to reviews much as we don't get too many metal publications here in Creepsylvania. Once we got an issue of RIP from 1987 and I tore out the poster of Sammy Hagar and made a dartboard out of it.

Is it true that GHOUL was responsible for all the Bigfoot(Sasquatch) "sightings" back in the 60's and 70's, and that video that Roger Patterson took of the walking "Bigfoot" was really Digestor covered in mud after killing the REAL Bigfoot and leaving his wretched, mangled corpse in quicksand? Who then, left all those big footprint marks? Since this happened in America, I doubt this was really the work of GHOUL, or was it?

Digestor: You're the one who keeps sending us books about Bigfoot, aren't you? What is wrong with you? This NEVER HAPPENED!! You really need to stop.

Ok, it's time to put the rumors to rest. Why does everybody think you guys are really just members of BRUTUS?

Digestor: This is a rumor that has haunted us for years now. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that not only are there no members of Brutus on any Ghoul recordings, we don't even want members of Brutus to OWN our recordings.

I can't believe you ate the whole thing.

Digestor: It was tasty.

Have you seen the movie JASON X yet, about Jason Voorhees in outerspace? When are we going to see Digestor in space? To boldly go where no GHOUL has gone before...

Digestor: I've only seen pictures from the movie and it made me want to cry. This is a proud ghoul who once wore a sack over his head, just like us, and he's reduced to looking like C3PO? These are dark days indeed...

Why does GHOUL hate black metal so much? Count Digestorgrimlock has a nice ring to it actually. Hey, it could be a new direction for you guys, after you're done playing thrash metal for awhile at least. What did black metal bands ever do to you anyway?

Digestor: Black Metal isn't so bad in and of itself, but the people in the bands should know that they are targets in our war against posers and mesh shirts. We recently had to kill one of those bands because...well...I don't know why really. I think we just couldn't take the smell of greasepaint or we were looking for something fun to do or something. It gets boring here.

In 1968, George Romero brought us NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. It became the horror hit of its time. Now, in 2003, GHOUL will bring you..... (fill in the blanks).

Digestor: MANIAXE!!

My watch just told me I had better stop asking you questions, I have a bad feeling about this interview. I guess I shouldn't take you guys too lightly, eh? You did try to kill me, about, oh I'd say, 27 TIMES!!!!!

Digestor: 28 is coming soon, champ. Keep your eyes peeled, or we'll peel them for you.

Any, um....last...(gulp)...words? SHIT, I'm outta here!!!!!

Digestor: MOSH!